Gay the easy way

Well, I've had an interesting weekend, so far. Recently, one of my neighbors left the Homo Agenda for the year 2005 at my house. I'm not sure which one left it...I'm pretty sure it's the guy who keeps offering to "wax my pole." Hey, buddy, I wax my own pole, ok? It's one of a handful of hobbies that I really enjoy, so back off.

Anyway, I have it sitting by my toilet and I read it when I poop--which is when I do the lion's share of my reading. Pretty interesting reading, so far. A few of the bigger items were to get Madonna's lesbian card back (apparently they've asked her to return it several times but she just holds onto it) and also to get that dancin to the oldies guy to bring it down a notch or two.

I read on and they hit their most important goal for 05...convert Ho. I nearly shit my pants. An exact quote...well ok, not quite exact but damn close, "Get ho...big time."

They even had a comic book where Matthew Damon played the role of Ho and all the gays were converting him and at the end...well, I won't tell you how it ends, that would ruin the surprise.

So, anyway...To the gay ruler: Thanks, I'm ... well, I'm grateful that you think so highly of me, but I'm not going to convert. I dig the chicks far too much for that. Unless you have some more dudes like that girl in The Crying Game. She was hot!

Oh, well, back to the beer.