Sunday, July 10, 2005

Muffins and Ringcakes

I once bought a muffin from a local baker and bit into it. Inside was a wedding ring which must have been his new young wife's for the ring was narrow and the diamond small and the gold unscratched.

I quickly stuffed the ring back into my mouth and swallowed it down with the muffin as if I had never found it.

I do not know if it was the love of the woman toward the man, the grief at the loss of such a precious symbol or the gnawing jewel and metal in my stomach but I soon began cramping.

The pain was small at first but grew and grew until I was retching with false vomit and doubled over in terrible agony.

I dialed 911.

X-rays were taken and the ring was discovered and removed.

The day I returned the ring was the same day I sued the young couple for their carelessness.

I now own the bakery and the young couple? Who knows. Perhaps they eat their love.