Shoes

Look at my new camel-toe boots. Aren't they divine?



Ho, ho! And lookie, lookie, here. Camel-toe shoes and a snazzy cup to protect the tender twins. (Insert mandatory xxl cup size joke)



How could you not get the xxl cup? I'd buy 10 and claim that I wear them out so quickly that I need a big supply on hand. In fact, let me break down and tell you a little bit about my life. Every Saturday I take the kids into the local WalMart and buy a 40 pack of Trojan Magnum XL. I ask the checker every week if they have anything larger. Then I look at my boys and give them a little nudge and snicker, anything larger! Oh, they love it. And so do



Ode to the Condom
Oh, dear condom, so sticky sweet
Your spermacide is very neat
I hate it when they roll their eyes
When I ask them for a super size.