Sunday, January 30, 2005

Work Friend

So there's someone at work who wants me to kill him and I'm not sure what to do about it. No, he hasn't actually asked me to kill him, but he's leaving me clues.

First clue was that he pats me on the back and calls me Buddy, which is not my nom-de-guerre nor my real name. Pat my ass and we're solid, pat my back and I'll know it's a sign you want me to kill you.

Second clue was a nose whistle. The cunt has a near constant nose whistle. I'm sure it was surgically implanted.

Third clue is that he rounds me up for meetings I was trying to intentionally skip. "Come on, Buddy, the non-mandatory-pep-week-meeting is about to start, you wouldn't want to miss that." Then stands there until I get up to make sure I'm really going, this time.

I don't want to kill him, he's a nice guy. What should I do?