Thursday, January 27, 2005

Sipping Coffee

Well, vacation was nice. I attended a giant birthday party in the sunny confines of San Diego. It was there that I realized I am wasting my life. Now, now, don't try and assuage my feelings, don't try to defuse the bitter pill I've been nursing, it's there and I cannot deny it.

Then I was walking in the airport and this guy said to me, or someone near me, Dude, you coulda been a contendah. And I was like, Yes! An epiphany driven by an offhand inanity. So I said to the guy, I've never tried! And I shook him by the fucking lapel and spit little flecks of spit in his face and slowly enunciated each word...independently I....Never....Tried…. I....Never....Tried. As If I was uttering six separate sentences. Then I told him that he had misquoted because he had.

Then this commercial came on about adult ADD and I was like, Fuck, I have this, and it had a website that I could go to for more information which I've forgotten, but it was something long that no ADD person in their right minds would ever remember. Shit, where was I? (Sorry, sometimes the obvious joke pushes me ass up and forces itself upon me.)

So it's then that I realize that I am that guy who is measuring his life in coffee spoons. I'm that fucking guy. Then it dawns on me, that's what that poem is about. Jesus. Eureka! Insight fifteen years too late. I wish I could call that English professor and explain to him that I was more interested in alcohol and sex...and that I still am, but that I just didn't have the life experience to understand--and ask for a better grade.

So it's not good enough anymore to be the eighth best heterosexual programmer in my company, no. I need to find a new job that is creative, fun, self-actualizing, self-fulfilling, self-fucking-fan-tastic Business software is many things but it's not cool. Nor is it sexy. But it does pay well.