Monday, February 14, 2005

If you meet Buddah on the road, Kill him

Well, Ho had a busy weekend as you all may have guessed. I've been working on a project for the last several years, that of counting to infinity. It's a task that I've come close to reaching, but I just never had a full weekend to dedicate to it. This weekend I met that goal and can resume my next one, that of walking to France.

Probably you're wondering how I counted so high. I'll tell you but you must keep it a secret because I'll probably publish it in some journal somewhere and I want to be the first to reveal it to the "scientific community."

Now then, you need a calculator...any will do. You need to press the number 2 then the times button twice then two again. It's important that you press times twice, I'm not sure what that does...technically...but it is part of the magic. Then press another two and the equal button.

The screen should now read 4. Now you have to press the equal button very fast -- the number should double and double, there's a math term for this, but math people are nerds.

Now then, just before the calculator gives you a backwards E, which stands for...I know the answer but I won't tell you, you have to divide by zero, which fools it. Then you have to divide by zero again, but all of this has to be very, very fast because you have to keep the calculator off guard.

When the calculator is reeling from your deft calculations you have to subvert the space-time continuum by looking into a mirror with a mirror behind you and looking for that last guy in there.

That last guy in there is someone, maybe God, but watch out, he doesn't seem to like hippies.