Thursday, March 03, 2005

The Odyssey

If I had a vagina I would shave my pubes and tattoo a story in place of the hair--probably I would copy the story of The Odyssey..which is one of my favorites. I would do this so that people would have something to read as they went down on me.

I would write the words very small and I would continue the story down into the outer labia...only I wouldn't call it the outer labia, I would call it...the outer reading room. Some people would think the story was abridged, but it's not. If you spend enough time there you can read the whole story.

I guess since I was tattooing I'd also tattoo my left leg with the word Scylla and my right leg with the word Charybdis. Whenever my lovers would ask me, what do these two tats mean, --Scylla and Charybdis--then my vagina would eat them in one snatchy bite like this...*SNATCH*

I would feel bad about this, but really people should be up on the classics or they kinda deserve to get eaten by my vagina.

Maybe The Odyssey isn't quite the right book for a vagina but it's really hard to think of just the right story.