The Jersey Germ will eat you bad

A lot of members of the liberal media, I've been noticing, have been going on and on about what happens if flies become zombies and start attacking humans.

I just want to reassure you that this is a load of bullcrap.

For one, they'll fly real slow. Like a winter fly who's pregnant with baby maggots. You can just swat it.

It'll be all looking for your brains to eat and then you could just kill it. Problem solved.

Second, we all know that it takes a zombie to actually bite you for the zombie to spread.

People, flies gots no teefs. You dig me?

They can spit on your head, and that would surely suck, but they cannot bite.

Thirdly, they'll mostly live in Florida where all the other bad things are. If you don't live in Florida you're totally safe from the zombie fly sitchy.

So liberal media, get your dicks out of our mouths. We're smarter than that.

Welcome home, darling.