Eureka!

For many years I have tried to figure out why Mrs. Ho and I only make sweet, sweet love once a week. Finally I have deduced the reason.

What most people don't know about Ho is that his semen is dense. When I say dense I mean it's a new element on the periodical table of .. elements. The scientists came for a sample once. I was all..if you dance slowly and take off that robe you might get a sample. No dice. They are reserving my atomic number until after I die.

When Ho makes love he ejaculates with a force that is immense. I have said that before, I just want to remind people. Ho's lovers have contended that being hit with a wad of semen from Ho is like being struck with a small bat, or a very small child falling from a tree, or like when someone hits you in the back when you're not expecting it. All in a good way, oh yes.

When Ho's semen enters the "womb" it expands and sticks. Ho's semen doesn't leave the regular way, no. Ho's semen has to evaporate over the course of a week or so. It binds to the living wall of the womb like sailors binding to whores in a whore house.

What does this have to do with weekly sex? Well...it doesn't. The thing is...Ho's semen is dense. So dense that I lose ten pounds every time I ejaculate. The problem? My wife gains ten pounds. Every time we make sweet, sweet love she gains ten pounds for several days.

This is my problem and I see no solution...do you?