My lovely lady lumps

I just wanted everyone to know that if some doppleganger situation ever happens to me I'll kill it. No questions. Just a pencil in the fucking neck.

This includes people claiming to be a twin or a long-lost adoptive brother. That's how the dopplegangers get you. Trickery and subterfuge then it's the pencil in your neck.

Secondarily, the hungriest vampire is the turnip vampire. Also the poorest and the dumbest. Also very skinny and pretty.

Thirdly, I am between the first and second poops of the day. The reason for this information is that when wiping, a small piece came upon my thumb like a stray sailor looking for new passage and I successfully did not suck it off as if some delicate saffron.