Tuesday, January 11, 2005


Shit. I have a cold. And I'm cranky.

Someone's been shooting me with Receding Hair Ray. It was cute at first. Now it's just annoying. I must go to the workshop to retaliate. Maybe a hemorrhoid ray. Those hurt. Really hurt. You gotta soak em. Or get them taken out. The doctor cuts them off of your asshole--that's the clinical term. It's really the sphincter, or the rectum or the...anus? I'm not sure. Before cutting them out, though the doctor deadens the skin w/ a shot of novicaine. I've seen it done. A sharp poke in a sensitive spot. I hate to get all anal, but I'd worry I wiped properly. Obsess about it, probably. Some jobs you can't do yourself, I guess.

Which reminds me...if ass tasted more like caramel, I'll bet that people would eat a lot more ass, E Coli, or no E Coli. Who doesn't love caramel?