ESPN2

As all know, last night was Tuesday night and also masturbation night in HO house. It started calmly enough.

I flipped on MTV and some show w/ that blonde girl w/ the big boobs and her skulking husband...some honeymoon show, or something where they run around with beautiful people and fight... Jesus, I can't believe people watch this show...but she does have big boobs, and that did get me going, but her skulking husband and their too hip friends fucked it for me. So I changed the station.

As is typical late at night, there were only infomercials and lame sports shows...so I ended up watching the strongest woman in the world championships on ESPN2 and climaxed with a long sigh and a reminder to start a pron company that's not ppv—those women are many things, but hot is not one of them, but it was all I had, can’t you see that?

I'm happy to report that the ejaculate came nowhere near my face because of the lazy ejection. I reached out for the closest rag and started mopping up. I'll be damned if it wasn't covered in Pine Sol. At first I was nervous about rubbing Pine Sol on my wang, but the pine scent won me over. It cleaned and also hardened the skin on my penis—cleaned and protected. It was like magic. Until the burning.

Long story short, ER docs can be downright quizzical about stripping Pine Sol from appendages. She was hot, though, so I asked her to please suck it off. I think she would have, but she was clearly a lesbian. And not in a good way.