Technology Tuesday

If I had a cell phone I would have one of those ringers that shouted, "GET OFF MY DICK, BITCH!" whenever I got a call.

When I answered it I would shush people, of course. I would look at them and say, "Can't you see I'm an important man?"

If they didn't shush I'd follow up with, "I'm a web diarist." then storm right out of there, never to return.

You don't fuck with web diarists. I learned that the hard way.