I crave bacon

I think a neat new monster would be a Hampire--a monster who's driven to eat ham or he'll die.

Then it would be cool if there grew up around the Hampire mythos a subculture of people who wear black and get fancy sharp ham-eaters and tell the other Hamites that they have to eat ham at least once a day or they'll die.

It would also be fun if there were Jewish and Muslim Hampires.

I can picture the Jewish Hampire telling his dad, "But I need the ham to survive!"

Then the dad tears his black coat like the dad in The Jazz Singer and says, "You're not my son, you're a monster!"

"You have no idea."

Then he goes and gets a big fat slab of ham.

Then I think of what the Muslims would do to a Hampire and they'd pretty much just shoot him. Or blow him up.

Muslim humor is kinda hard to understand sometimes.