I'm eating hepatitis flavored popcorn. and your mom.

Some people think Satan is a Mexican but that idea is too silly to consider. Mexicans do not have the kind of requisite planning skills to pull off such a scale of evil. You want a car stolen? Get a Mexican. Garden tilled? Mexican. Large scale evil? That has white man written all over it.

This is self-evident you're saying to yourself.

I have proof that Satan is a Caucasian.

God created us in his own image and God is white. I have seen many pictures and he's always white. God also made the angels and they are white like him. Have you ever seen a Mexican cherub? No such thing! In fact...a little known truth about religion is that when you die you will turn white like God. In heaven all are white and pretty again.

Also, to the black boy at the malt shop...vampire like fingernails are certainly very classy at the dance clubs but in the food industry they make me think only of hepatitis. Blackula was cool, but he didn't have a day job. Trim the nails.