Monday, December 19, 2005

Thin crust is better because it's skinny

I think an idea that I had that would really improve the image of crack houses would be if they had a place for the kids to play.

If I had a crack house I'd put a playground in it so that the crack whores had a place to put their kids while they smoked crack. There would, of course, be a few simple rules as we live in a rule-based society and also, rules are the hallmark of the crack population.

No pooping in the ball pit.

Or peeing.

No midgets pretending to be kids.

No homos unless accompanied by a hetero Caucasian man.

Things like that.

Just a small list of reasonable rules.

I would call it Playland. If McDonald's tried to sue me, I'd shoot that fucking clown dead. BLAM BLAM BLAM. Three to his ugly clown mouth.

Him and his Burger King clown lover. Both dead.

That Burger King clown ever peeps into my window? There's trouble. Kids or no, we're gonna throw.

No one would prosecute me either. It's perfectly legal to shoot clowns. De facto if not de jure.