Game Show Idea #37

Featuring me as the host who also fights the contestants. First contestant would be Bono from U2. He looks like a real pussy what with his slicked back hair and his little earring.

Rules for this celebrity wrestle (not to be confused with celebrity death match) are as follows, steel cage, tennis shoes and t-shirts only. T-shirts not to go lower than pubic hair. First person to cry loses.

He’d be all…let’s resolve this peacefully and right then, right as peacefully gets out of his lips…CHOP. Knife-hand-strike to the adam’s apple. Bring on the tears, puss-face.

If I win, I get the cash from the fight and half of Ireland. The cool part, not the fucked up part. I'm not sure which is which, though, I'll need some advice on that. If Bono wins he can go on and on about Tibet or whichever fucking thing he's crying about these days.

The celebrity after Bono is that Falwell guy. The task will be to seduce his sweet but chaste daughter...just like that Malchovich guy did in that Dangerous Liasons movie. I'll seduce her and drive her to madness and then a convent, then I'll fight Falwell with rapiers.

But I won't let him kill me like that pussy Malchovich, I'll kick his ass. He's old, I'd take him like this: *snap* I’d stab him in the fucking neck then drink his blood like a vampire.

If he wins I'll start going to church. If I win, he'll be dead plus I get television rights.

Do you hear me Bono? Falwell? It's on.