Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I'll eat you up, I love you so

If I had a vagina I would use it to save the world. When aliens landed they would say to me, "Show me your geintials, human."

I'd quickly drop my sweat pants--because that's what people with vaginas wear, it seems--and say, "Look here, alien, I have only a furry patch."

Aliens are easily fooled and this one would say, "Where is it?"

That would stump me for a minute, and I'd have to think fast. My first response would be, "In my pocket." But I'd quickly stifle that because the alien could just reach into my, sweat pants don't have pockets...

Think, Ho, THINK.

"At home," I'd say.

"Go get it, I'll wait here," is what the alien would say.

I'd head for the first rock, and pull out my newest invention from my vagina: Fecal Ray 2, twice the fun...twice the poo (Now with vibrating action).

I'd shoulder it up and shoot that alien down. No one would know I saved the world, but I don't really seek glory. Just money. I'm a simple whore.

It really IS in my pocket