I was nigh struck down dead

Sorry to those who have come before...I was reminded to note that this particular post is ... not safe for work. Unless you work in pron. Then it is safe. Or you work in a church. Then it's double plus safe. A penis may, or may not be visible later. But count more on the may side of things.

I recently received something in my e-mail that was so profoundly disgusting that I first retched, then re-retched, then finally did a small twist and landed in the full-on-splits, and not the sissy front way, but the side way. The tearring sound was two things, loud and painful and I nearly deleted the picture from my machine a la military delete, but I could no longer stand.

Later, after ice and hot packs on my strained ligaments I decided the thing to do would be to share my shock, pain and horror with you--because I love you.

My friend Chief, as you may know, failed out of whore school. It's more appropriate to say he was pushed out of whore school by a pack of jealous whores. He scored a 33 out of 33 on the final whore test which has only been done once before...by Madonna. That's right...and not the virgin Madonna, no. By poor Guy Ritchie's aging Madonna.

Well, the jealousy and anger and pissyness raged so high that a whorish lynch mob came to the dorms and he was forced to flee and ended up taking an incomplete in his last course...How to Make Friends and Influence People.

That said, I bring you his version of Megalodong, which he likes to call, Boneshark.