Wednesday, May 25, 2005

hip-hop-Ho down at the station

If I had amnesia, I'm the kind of guy who would quickly masturbate to see if he had VD because really, you never know where you've been if you have amnesia.

Let me tell you, I have woken up with people after a nights drinking – memory totally gone with people who defied description. And when I say defied.. I mean they were the skankiest of whore.

I've been reading The Bourne Identity and it's pretty good, but I've been reading along just saying to myself, "No, no, no, no, NO!"

He's running around killing people and collecting cash and I'm just waiting for him to masturbate to check for pus. You know you have VD, my friend, if there’s pus in the Gus—that’s hip hop slang for semen, Gus is. I’m all about hip hop. They call me hip-hop-Ho down at the station. That pus looks nothing like semen, nor does it taste like semen. I've been told.

So what does Bourne do in lieu of "self-testing?" That's right. Unprotected sex. With a Canadian.

That's when it dawned on me. He's assassinating her.


Well done, John Grisham. Another brilliant bit of skullduggery.

I'm betting he rips one out by the end of the book so he doesn't die of consumption. The good guy never dies.

Except in my book. They all die in my book. No, I made that up as kind of a teaser.

I love you, of course.