Friday, August 12, 2005

Rain on my parade, will you?

I get so god damned mad at evaporation some days.

Here I am, watering my lawn and not all of it goes into my soil. My lawn. A lot of it gets sucked up by this fucking evaporation.

Who pays for that water to go right up into the air? I do. Who benefits from my water going into the air? Fucking Iowa or Indiana or Kentucky. Pretty much everyone but Ho.

You know what's worse than Iowa getting my water? When England gets it. They're always crying about how much rain they get but you know they're just sitting around smugly reeping in the Ho's water! Oh, boo hoo, I think I'll go for a swim in the Thames, which we should rename Ho's river...but we won't because we're selfish England.

Before the despair begins, I have a plan.

I want everyone to send me ten dollars. If you live in England 10 pounds--or more. If you live elsewhere...figure out the exchange rate.

Now I want it to be fair, so if you live in the only have to send 3 or 5 dollars, I don't want to be greedy, I just want what's mine. If you live in England or a rainforest, really should reach deep in your pockets you thieving scoundrals!

Now then. I'm off to bathe in my daily bath of tears and drink my daily cup of rage. Please enjoy the Friday.