Wednesday, August 03, 2005

A ray a day keeps the doctor away

Well, good news. Yep, I've invented a new device that should save the people lots of time in the hygiene department. It's true. A Douche Bag ray.

So many of the people don't douche as much because of the time that it takes, and I'll be honest with you, I don't blame them one bit.

This new ray is just point and click. Away goes all the bad vaginal particles to be replaced by...well, nothing. Replaced by nothing. I was going to do ice cream, but the cost of installing a small ice cream maker in the ray became cost prohibitive. Maybe on the douche bag ray II.

I see that you're not very impressed by this. I know, I know, so it's just a douche bag ray, big deal. Well here's the big deal, my friends. What the people don't know is that it's not just one ray but two. It's also a Cunt Juice Ray with Long Range Firing action!

Imagine you're walking around with your Cunt Juice ray and there's your friend Charlie sharply dressed for an important business meeting...ZAP! Cunt juice heaven!

Oh, Charlie would be upset, at first, but then he would roll with laughter. Can't you see it? I sure can. "Oh, Ho! Being covered in cunt juice will add just the thing to my important business meeting!"

"I know, Charlie, I know."

I just don't know what to call it...Douche Bag/Cunt Juice ray just doesn't have the pinache that I think would really bring out the soccer moms into the Wal-Marts. No, no. It will never do.