Monday, October 17, 2005

Phil Connors will learn to love

If I had a time machine I would watch Groundhog Day over and over like a million times. As soon as it ended I would quickly reverse time one hour and forty seven minutes and watch the entire thing again until I really got a feel for how Phil Connors felt being trapped in an endless time loop.

After I felt confident that I understood the predicament I'd beam myself into the show and confront Phil. I would say one of two things, either: "Come with me if you want to live." I've always wanted to say that to someone but ... the situation has never come up.

If not Come with me if you want to live then something like, "Phil, can't you see that this is a lesson to teach you that you're selfish and need to change your ways? Can't you understand that you're hurting those around you, especially Larry the camera guy? Look at the lovely producer. She could make a super wife!"

Then I'd beam to that movie Out of Africa and tell the Glen Close character to stop being so smug. Oh, all the darkies love me! I'm such a good bwana to them. Fuck off, Glen.

Then? Of course. Some anal loving pron.

Monday Funday.