I am the best blog you will ever see. Including yours. Does that make you cry? I hope so.

I once read that if you put a million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters and let them type for a million years that they would, by virtue of just random typing, re-type every great piece of literature ever written; even that verbose bitch Ayn Rand (here I use bitch in the meaning of that she's a bitch, not the black way of referring to all women (nice job black people, that is elegant and fancy)). Even, dare I say, the humble Ho.

Well, I am sure I don't have to tell you that a million years is a long time. Too long to wait for all those monkeys, but I had an idea that I don't think anyone has ever thought of that could streamline the process...make the monkeys use their feet, as well as hands!

Their feet are like hands, you see. They are very agile with their feet, too! Genius.

So that takes it down to about 500,000 years by my reckoning, though you'd need two million type-writers.

But then if you could get a hundred million monkeys...and two hundred million typewriters... you could get it all done in... well, the math escapes me becase I'm a liberal and not a Jew and we all know that liberal, non-Jews are terrible at math, but I think you see what I'm saying.

So go do it.