My cock's a glock and I'm ready to rock

A lot of people have been asking me about the movie Brokeback Mountain on account of how I'm almost gay. I have a fancy, slick hair do, I have a fancy, slick car and sometimes at night when I masturbate I think of women with smallish breasts. If that's not near gay then I don't know what is.

Anyway, I want to tell the people that I have not yet seen this movie Brokeback Mountain though it is about gays.

People, it's also about a lot of camping. And camping? Sucks. Camping is several things, none of which are fun when combined: Cold, boring (no tv), dirty, sleeping bags (filled with roaches), bears (kill you), cajuns (kill you after sodomy), canoes (sink), misquitoes (give you the aids), etc.

So, no. No BM for me.

If it were called Humpback Mountain and detailed how two humpback whales swam up the mighty Colorado river and had to be rescued from the tiny ski town of Veil and then how the fun Promise Keepers prayed to God for a giant bobsled and then they sledded the whales back down to California (much like the Grinch who Stole Xmas, but with a God-driven bob-sled and Promise Keepers) and then when they got to California they killed the liberal-fornicators with some kind of x-ray/disintigration ray from the eyes and turned Arnold Schartzeneger into an American and made him President...well, that movie I just might watch. But not camping gays, no matter how gay I might be.

Please excuse the spelling errors. Your mom's vagina doesn't have a spell checker that is very reliable.