Wednesday, August 13, 2008

God I love you so bad

I've taken to posting once a quarter.  I find it cuts down the amount of bad writing on this site by approximately 87%, plus or minus 13%.

I've been working on my long term goals.  I am nothing without them.  I'm fastidious to a fault.  Mr. Fastidious I'm called in some circles.  I also do the short terms but it's the long terms that really set the tone.  I'll share my list with you this quarter and next quarter maybe I'll give you a business update of my work productivity levels over the quarter and also a bullet points of key accomplishments and the goals for the next quarter.

But this is just personal goals.

The short term goals:

1.)  Continue plan to live forever.  So far, no major obstacles.  (This is also a long term goal)
2.)  Drink tonight.  Make sure I have enough alcohol so that I just remember going to bed (passing out).
3.)  Play video games instead of what I should be doing...watching the olympics and cheering on America against everyone particularly the Japs and Chinamen. 

I'd watch the olympics more but that braggart swimmer makes me bust out in a fury and his broad shoulders and well formed pecs makes me wonder if I have the gays.

4.)  Rename ALS back to Lou Gehrig's disease, find the guy who tried to make it ALS and teach him not to tamper with good things by dipping his face in acid.

Long terms:

1.)  Rewrite list of people I can have sex with as per my wife's approval.  Add your name.  Remove Cindy Lauper and Madonna before statues kick in which will force me into the sexuals with them.
2.)  Write the Guy Richie I-so-fucking-told-you-so letter.  Perhaps move this to the short term list.
3.)  Develop a vaccine that will cure both the gays and the Jews.  Sell them as separate products named Gay be Gone and Jew be Gone, rake in the money from the gay Jews.  Feel a tinge of regret.
4.)  Invent something that will suppress regret and name it advanced scotch 3000.
5.)  Go to Hawaii.
6.)  Develop a taco and bj dispensing machine.  Self cleaning!!!

And that's about all that's new with me.

I got a new dog.