Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Other people's vacations sure do piss me off

Ah, mother's day, come and gone.  The day you do everything your wife tells you ... just like every other fucking day in the year except that on this day you buy her presents before she tells you what you are to do.

I found a picture of your boyfriend, you two are such a cute couple.  Here he is.  I think he's looking for you somewhere.


Here's a picture of his scrotes.  I know I said I wouldn't publish them on the innernet but they're just so adorable and you and me are so one of mind I was sure you didn't care:


Here's a picture of a tree:


And here's one in New Zealand where the Hobbit lives:


This is feet:


This is a real web site: http://www.ldscoloringpages.net --  I tried to do some coloring here but the colors black, brown and Mexican were missing.  So I drew a picture of me in heaven during a show storm.

This is how we do science if you know how to do it right.  Do it wrong and science will poke your face off. http://msucares.com/pubs/publications/images/p1686-2.gif

Do you ever get busy?

Boy, I am.

I wish you could outsource things that you sure don't like to do like when the telemarketer calls and I know you can say, "put me on your do-not-call list" but I always am "Oh, 25%?  That's quite a deal."  "Uh, huh, well, I didn't really need a subscription to Guns and Ammo but if you put it that way..."

I wish I could trade things that I'm comfortable with to people who are comfortable with other things.  I could poop in the woods for you and you could talk to all of my telemarketers and tell them to put me on their do-not-call list.

That seems a fair trade.

Actually, I don't like to poop in the woods, so maybe you could just take care of the telemarketers and we'll call it even.

That makes sense, I guess.

Tomorrow let's talk about politics.