I'm casting Jew magics on you
I was traveling on the only day that married couples can know one another (Saturday) and said to myself, why not try a little cyber?
I'm not good with new things. I hate them, really. I've done cyber a time or two but mostly I was drunk and it was with other boys who were online with girl names.
There's something about being w/ a cyber boy that is easier than a real woman because even when it's bad it's good, ya know? With a girl it's a time investment. Lots of feelings and describing the lighting and all that shit. Or so I imagine.
For boys it's much easier, show me your titties, k I'm done. That's how easy. Boys have it easy.
So there's Mrs. Ho (she goes by Ms. Ho cause she's a feminist hippie (all hippies are feminists and all feminists...etc)) online and here's how we spent a lovely cyber session (I'll be online all week).
Me: Hey. I'm real sorry I had to travel on a Saturday, I know how much this day is to you...
Her: ?
Me: You know...when we get to spend time alone...
Her: What the fuck are you talking about?
Me: SEX NIGHT. JESUS CHRIST. IT'S SATURDAY. SATURDAY NIGHT, OK??!! SEX NIGHT.
Her: Why didn't you just say that?
Me: Anyway, sorry...
Her: That's fine, maybe next Saturday.
Me: I thought maybe we could try some cyber?
Her: What's that?
Me: That's when we type sex-type things back and forth ... it's kinda like cyber sex.
Her: I don't know...sounds kinda weird...
Me: No, it's totally fine, I do it in warcraft all the time...
Her: wtf?
Me: No, it's with boys pretending to be girls so it's cool...
Her: If you give me aids, god help me...
Me: No, no I play it safe and plus my resistance gear is awesome! I'm like +200 against aids. Not as good as my fire gear but still nothing to sneeze at.
Her: Ok, if you start, I'll try it.
Me: Ok...well, the lights are really low and I have candles burning and they're that scent you like...
Her: Coconut?
Me: Yeah, coconut...and I get out some oil and I'm rubbing it on your shoulders...
Her: Oh, god, it's pachuli oil, isn't it?
Me: Well, yeah, it's all we had...
Her: We had it because it stinks like hippies. Dirty hippie girls running around the market looking for pennies with their long dirty hair and you rubbed that shit all over me. Now I need a shower.
Me: Ok, I go out to the store and I get some non-scented oil and I come back and I start rubbing that on your shoulders.
Her: GET OFF OF ME!
Me: Ok, I run a bath first and add...
Her: Are you done, yet?
Me: Done before we started.
I'm not good with new things. I hate them, really. I've done cyber a time or two but mostly I was drunk and it was with other boys who were online with girl names.
There's something about being w/ a cyber boy that is easier than a real woman because even when it's bad it's good, ya know? With a girl it's a time investment. Lots of feelings and describing the lighting and all that shit. Or so I imagine.
For boys it's much easier, show me your titties, k I'm done. That's how easy. Boys have it easy.
So there's Mrs. Ho (she goes by Ms. Ho cause she's a feminist hippie (all hippies are feminists and all feminists...etc)) online and here's how we spent a lovely cyber session (I'll be online all week).
Me: Hey. I'm real sorry I had to travel on a Saturday, I know how much this day is to you...
Her: ?
Me: You know...when we get to spend time alone...
Her: What the fuck are you talking about?
Me: SEX NIGHT. JESUS CHRIST. IT'S SATURDAY. SATURDAY NIGHT, OK??!! SEX NIGHT.
Her: Why didn't you just say that?
Me: Anyway, sorry...
Her: That's fine, maybe next Saturday.
Me: I thought maybe we could try some cyber?
Her: What's that?
Me: That's when we type sex-type things back and forth ... it's kinda like cyber sex.
Her: I don't know...sounds kinda weird...
Me: No, it's totally fine, I do it in warcraft all the time...
Her: wtf?
Me: No, it's with boys pretending to be girls so it's cool...
Her: If you give me aids, god help me...
Me: No, no I play it safe and plus my resistance gear is awesome! I'm like +200 against aids. Not as good as my fire gear but still nothing to sneeze at.
Her: Ok, if you start, I'll try it.
Me: Ok...well, the lights are really low and I have candles burning and they're that scent you like...
Her: Coconut?
Me: Yeah, coconut...and I get out some oil and I'm rubbing it on your shoulders...
Her: Oh, god, it's pachuli oil, isn't it?
Me: Well, yeah, it's all we had...
Her: We had it because it stinks like hippies. Dirty hippie girls running around the market looking for pennies with their long dirty hair and you rubbed that shit all over me. Now I need a shower.
Me: Ok, I go out to the store and I get some non-scented oil and I come back and I start rubbing that on your shoulders.
Her: GET OFF OF ME!
Me: Ok, I run a bath first and add...
Her: Are you done, yet?
Me: Done before we started.
posted by Blog ho at 4:53 PM
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