Saturday, May 28, 2005

Moon of Endor

If I were a scientest at the end of Return of the Jedi, I would be famous and much reviled for writing my doctoral thesis about how the Empire was right for the genocide on Jar Jar's race.

I would call it, When Bad People Kill for Good Reasons.

Everyone would be all...booo, you suck, Doctor Hate.

It would be a difficult time for me because I would just be pointing out the unpopular-obvious. Everyone would be anti Emire..what with it being evil and all. No one would even try to listen to my main point, that the Jar Jars sucked ass and deserved a good ass kicking.

The end of the famous paper would suggest that the Empire was brought down too early and that they should have killed all the fucking Ewoks, too. Creepy little monsters. Speak English like everyone else. Sure, they're cute until they cook you.

There would be death threats, but I'd never take off my Ewok skinned boots..and if someone threw paint on them, I'd go back to the moon where they live and kill eight more.

After every kill I'd shout skin smeared with blood and Ewok flesh..."Take that, PETA."

Most college professors aren't violent. I would be.