Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Book Review

Dear Ken Follett,

Words cannot describe how much I enjoyed Code to Zero. No, wait a minute, they can. Let's just say that if you ever come near my house I will beat you to death with a copy of Eye of the Needle--that's how much I enjoyed Code to Zero.

While reading it I kept looking at the cover to make sure I wasn't reading The Idiot's Guide to Being the Worst Fucking Spy in the Entire World. Sadly, it was always Code to Zero.

I got this copy from the library and I thank god every 12 seconds that I didn't pay one cent for this truly bad piece of fiction. But then I had an idea...I owe it to my fellow humanity ... I must destroy this book.

I immediately took it into the bathroom with me and produced the most terrible poop that ever was. I wiped my ass with every page in that book. After every wipe I was none the cleaner. I was puzzled and after two hundred pages I figured it out--the pages were made out of feces. Very clever, doctor, very clever.

Just kidding about the beating to death. But I would make you eat that shitty Code to Zero book.