Monday, June 06, 2005


Did I mention the scarab beetles had fat, hairy vaginas that bled small drops of blood with every step? They have six legs so that’s six small drops per…step. Did I further mention that they had small nubs on their backs that were giant clitori that buzzed when I licked them with my hot, hot tongue--buzzed until the buzzing sound was a tumult of ululation and lustful agony whereupon they sprayed ten thousand bug eggs into my mouth where I nurtured my love children in the cavernous warmth of my fecund cheeks until they hatched and I expectorated ten billion baby Ho bugs into the wilds of Egypt? Did I mention that? Did I mention I won the national Utah hackey sack championship in 87? Did I mention my prize was a 2-litre bottle of mountain dew?

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