Friday, June 10, 2005

Friday Travel Report

Well, bad news. I just got back from Nogales, Mexico and they have no anal sex down there.

I asked every woman I met, "Tu quieres anal?" Which is Spanish for, "I will make sweet sweet anal love to you and you'll never have another like me."

Nothing. Not even a hint of recognition of lust. It was like trying to explain to an Eskimo what a volcano is.

I developed a new strategy...I broke out the old dictionary.

"Queiro ser en tu culo." Nothing. "Quiero SER en tu culo." Nada.

I'm afraid by this point in my trip I was shaken. I broke down. I fell to my knees and shouted out, "From whence the Dirty Sanchez if not Mexico? Oh, God, why do you make me chase this dream? Why?"

Turns out I should have been using Estar, not Ser. Ser is permanent. It is roughly analagous to, I want to be in your bum...forever. Which works for me, but.. women can be so picky.