Thursday, August 25, 2005

Ho's Fashion sHoW

Several things I've been needing to tell you but I just haven't had the time and I'm sorry because it might be too late for some of you.

The first thing is that back hair and really...body hair in general is coming back big time. BIG TIME. All of the fashion houses have been calling me...Ho! Tell the people about the back hair. Tell them about the long, course strands that will be so popular in next Spring's fashion mags--the long black course strands that let you know you're alive.

Tell them about the hairy backs and ass acne. Tell them that big, red zits on a pale white ass are all the rage! Tell them that the chicks will dig this soon. Next Spring at the latest. Tell them before they wax backs and wash bums too thoroughly.

Tell them about the Benzene Rings that can form on the inside of your ass crack if you don't wash your fruit. That's not fashion, that's just good sense.

Finally, tell them that on a Jedi scale of one to ten that you're an eleven. Tell them that your midi chlorine rate is through the roof--much higher than that cunt Vader. Over the top. That back hair and midi chlorines are related and that being an eleven on the Jedi scale means that you could have any woman but you're a good Jedi so you only take the ones that really need taking.

Tell them that and give them a poem just for free. For free, Ho, don't try and charge for it, though your better nature suggests you should. Then draw them a picture of the dancing zombies.

It was there that I drew the line. Zombies terrify me and I certainly won't draw them.

This is the poem
about the zombies that dance
better than other zombies
in syncopated grooves
who didn't eat the michael jackson
at the end of the night
because he's a werewolf