Monday, August 22, 2005

I could kick Godzilla's ass...if I felt like it ... and I don't

Somehow the flight didn't crash. At first I thought it was science but then I spotted a wizard casting spells on all the planes. So it turns out it wasn't science but magic that makes planes fly.

I think it was Ron Weasly that was casting all the spells on my plane but then I remembered that he died in the last book (very sad. He died of the aids.) and I was all, "Well, it wasn't Ron, he died of the aids."

So anyway, that's all blah blah blah, the important thing was that I didn't die.

The point of all of this is this: The flight attendant was all...blah blah blah, this and that...then she got to the important part. She was all, "blah blah blah, pull mask to your face, blah blah blah."

I hit the call button and I said very loudly, "How could one put on a mask if one had hook hands?"

That bitch did not even answer. She went on as if I hadn't even said one word.

So I got angry. I lost my patience I guess you could say. Lost my... usual jocularity, usual... bon vivant.

I started rubbing the hooks together like the monsters in the Godzilla movies do. Especially, Megalon. Or Gigan. Either one of those.

Didn't go down like you'd think. Lots of giggling and odd stares. I need to carry around a boom box so that the sounds of the grinding hooks are amplified, I guess.

So...have a nice day. I know I will.