Friday, September 02, 2005

Cancer horse cancer

I sometimes wish that I was a pony so that I could bite the people who annoy me. Ponies have very sharp teeth in the back of their mouths and the front teeth are flat and hard and powerful and also covered in germs that will infect the skin and give you cancer if you don't wash quickly.

I would lure the person into my lair by batting my black, evil eyes at them and giving an eerie whiney like those horses like to do. I would suggest that they put a saddle on my back and mount me. I would then rub my big, ugly horse-head in their direction. When they tried to stroke my dangerous and hiddeous face...BITE!

First with the back toofs and then with the front so they get the cancer ... assuming they don't wash quickly enough.

If I particularly didn't like the person I would then turn around, drop a steaming load (cause that's what horses like to do) and then deliver a powerful kick with my well-muscled and dangerous horse-legs. Both of them at once. Like in that movie Gus.

Here...let me just show you, that's easier.