Monday, August 29, 2005

America has a nice rack, yo

I think that what a lot of people don't recognize is that the east coast of the United States is much like a woman.

In the north you have the boobs and the brains and the lobster traps and the blue, blinking eyes and the yip, yap, yap of the talking cars filling the night air. The north is like an excited soul with the swarm of ideas and the cool, frigid winters that make me so shudder and cry.

The south is pretty much devoid of soul but it does have a sweaty vagina and the small stumpy leg of Florida. We could do without the stumpy leg--because, really...who needs a crippled leg on a hot babe with a nice soul and big tits and a sweaty vagina?

But you take what you can get.

As much as the American civil war was about the abolition of slavery, it was also about keeping the sweet eastern vagina in one piece.

In fact, a small bit of the 2nd battle of bull run the northerners were heard to shout, "For liberty and vaginal unification!"