Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Check + Mate = joy

When playing chess with a zombie make sure that you realize that you're playing for nothing less than brains. Zombies take chess very seriously and they don't play for beers. If the zombie wins you can be sure you'll be zombie fucking pudding, my friend.

A tip: Look for the zombie to open up with the Benko Gambit or Nimzo-Larsen Attack.

These can be easily countered with the Alekhine's Defense or Chigorin Defense ... eschew the French Defense as that is tantamount to surrender.

As for me ... I just shoot their fucking heads off with a shotgun. You can't play chess with a zombie, silly. They're killers. They eat people. It's all they do!

Except the black ones. They run filling stations and teach other zombies what it is to love the night and the relative value of fireworks. The black one...he is clever.