I'll have a red day, thank you

I dressed in all red today, blood red. I tell everyone that my Wednesday name is Vagina Charlie with On The Rag in parens.

I tell them this with my waving eyebrows and subtle, sly winks. Vagina Charlie (On The Rag).

Sadly, the red is more of a maroon color which isn't quite the blood red I was trying to pull off so the people are calling me Maroon Goon...behind my back.

They don't think that I can hear them but I have a kind of spider sense that lets me hear the bad things people say (or think) about me.