I have a fear of the vast right-wing homo conspiracy

I have completed my book and I hope to get it out to the publisher tonight. I shall call it Chicken Soup for the Ho. It's a self-help book describing the extraction of splinters from the vagina or penis.

All good books have pictures and this is no different, though they are also ASCII pictures. Here is a sample of the vagina with a splinter in or on or near it: | and here, the penis 1 (note the curved tip. It's deformed and must be rendered as if in twain.)

Secondarily, when referring to the cleaning staff, a phrase that is not oft heard is, "that white custodian. " Cleaning chemicals chafe the white man's hands and those hands must instead count all of the world's money which has no unsafe chemicals.