Monday, October 09, 2006

I can almost reach you from here but my pretty hair obscures you

It will come as no surprise to many of you that I have decided to change the name of my penis from Mr. Happy to Dragontooth.

Please note, however, that I'm not referring to the sharp frontal fang that causes the stabbing plunge-wonder and the glaze of eye and a mysterious loss of thought-and-place just before the wonderful death, but rather named after the back 2nd or 3rd molar or maybe the 4th one, the mighty wisdom molar which is of no general use and often simply gets in the way.

Let it be so named after those flat grinding molars whose broad surface is crunch crack, crunch crack, chrunch crack until the job is done, three times crunch, three times crack, no more, no less.

Also, to the crazy bastards who keep killing kids in schools?  Depression and low self-esteem is not a free pass to act out suicidal death-sex fantasies.  Get on prozac like the rest of us, you sad-sick fuckers.

Love, Ho.