Guess who's out of vodka.

I'll bet a plane made out of hair (an hairplane) really goes up in flames when it catches on fire.  That would totally suck.  There you are, flying along, some douchebag goes and lights up in the bathroom...FOOM!  You're falling to certain death.  Thanks a lot, smokers.

I bet it would say foom, too.  Like in the comic books.

Guess what else?  I lied about swimming around the world.  Just to fool you.  I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not.  I'd do it again.

Also, Christopher Bates wrote Shaun of the Dead.  He spelled Shawn wrong but other than that he did a pretty good job.  I'd have added more shotgun blasts to the face but he's in England and they are limited with their firearms.

Guess what else.  We have a weatherman here who is called "Chief Meteorologist."

I like to think about what his work is like...all the sub-chief's sitting around asking, "What's the weather going to be, chief?  The President's flying in and the CIA boys need to know if it's going to snow in Omaha."

Then he goes to the scrying room and summons up the weather using buffalo hides and bones.  Instead of getting it on the innernet like we do.

I wonder if he ever gets sad that his whole job function is pointless.

Unlike mine.