Pleasure before pleasure

Here's a picture of me selling bibles to the baptists. I'm a professional telemarketer and I don't mean to gloat but I'm one of the best. I sell a bible a day, easy. Sharon lives with me and drew the picture. Thanks, Sharon.




Here's a touch of advice in lieu of another picture. No matter what you've heard about Farrah Fawcette's anal cancer, don't go to google images and type anal cancer. Just don't do it. Instead do butterflies or candy corn or fuzzy pumpkins. Anything.

Also, don't hate me for being childish but I am and I'll prove it. This was in the paper and I'm not sure how the story merits as news since I don't really read the paper--I take it so my neighbors think I'm well cultured--which I'm clearly not--but I do look at the pictures and read the captions because often a picture (thinking anal cancer here) can really do a lot to enhance your notion of a noun or a war in the Middle East.

Apparently this is news in Omaha: