The salacious salute from me to you and/or your wife

At what point in my life did it happen that I was covered in a perpetual ass smell?

Why is it that I always smell like ass?  Is the ass smell phenomenon a virtue of aging?  I've read all of the documentation and there's nothing that refers specifically to perpetual ass stank or even signifcant ass-rot.  No mention of ass at all except in the sense of, "You'll be getting less and less ass as you age."

I don't remember the ass smell when I lived "out west."  In the west I smelled always of the dry desert and faint hope.  Now I step out of the shower and I have ass stink and even my armpits waft pit-ass.

I begin to think that the farther east you move from the ideal west the more stink your body is forced to endure and exude such that everyone on the east coast *stare directly at Florida* is a walking ass ball.

But I could be wrong.

But I never have been in the past.