Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Hey, crackah, look what's crackin!

Wonderful news!  Oh, my such a wonderful wonderful news.

As you know, I've been away getting my fluids majora measured at the Kelvin institute of Greater Milwaukee and let me be the first to deliver the good news... I was a sell-out show.

All of the scientists wanted in to measure the sheer vulcanic volcano that lives inside my smoky groin seething for a quick, hot release.

How does this deep burn pertain to you, you ask.

Good question, innernet.  The thing is, if you now have vaginal hemmoraging when I'm near, I can cauterize it like this:  snap!

Well, ok, not quite like snap.  Faster than that.  Pre-second snap.  But hot?  Dear God only Satan knows such a burn eruption.

You too, boys, I can cure you but it's nothing sexual about it.  I'll bill your HMOs.  But you get an old anal fizzure, needs staunching?  I'll staunch it with a fertile fire that I don't guarantee won't make you prego.  That's a negative negative and requires a bit more thought.

But the boy staunch will require a condom if you're an IV drug user or from Africa--unless it's South Africa, then there's room for negotiation.

Anyway, I just thought you'd like to know.