Get thee to a Funnery

You should go home early today so you can catch that cheating spouse of yours in bed with this week's passion fruit and because you've been working so hard. Harder than you get paid, frankly. They take advantage of you.

Also.

If I could go back into time and kill a man it would certainly be William Shakespeare on account of I almost failed my college career because I couldn't get through his bullshit.

Everyone was all, "Oh, look at THAT genius, he's SOOO clever."

Fucker can't even speak English good, ya know? It's always quoth and wot wot and pate and all kinds of nonsense words, I wish the Fonz had been around to teach him better.

Maybe that's the solution...instead of violence (a favorite tool of the loathed left wingers) we send the Fonz back to instruct William as to how correctly to talk.

Make it so, that's your new project.