Saturday, December 02, 2006

this, my cat threw up

I love all of the ruckus the Kramer language has kicked up.

I love seeing Katie Couric on the news say, "the N word," as if she were in 7th grade explaining what she'd heard a big fat white kid say.

The N word seems to be the Voldemort of swear words, The Curse Which Shall not be Named.

I think white people should incorporate the word nigger into their daily vernacular but call only other white people nigger much as black people call only black people nigger.

I believe that it's time we evolved to a newer and better sense of racial slurs and insults and that really, we're clinging to the language of our fathers and our fathers' fathers.  And really, who wants that?

In the spirit of that thought, I have developed a script that you might want to try on your coworkers at work and if you don't work then at the laundrymat where you do the majority of your laundry.  This really is only if you're white...the darker the shade of skin color the less germane the advice and I'm sorry to discrimiate but I'm going to insist on this.  But you Jews can do it.  Unless you're an Asian Jew, then you'd better just watch the whites do it.  Safer that way.


Good mornin, nigger, how was your weekend?

Nigger, please, you know I had to go to my wife's Company Xmas party.

Damn, nigger, that's right!  I totally forgot, please excuse me.  Was it as bad as you thought?

No, it wasn't so bad.  I mostly sat and talked with some fellow named Peter Watson--he is in accounting, i guess.  One fun thing was that there were a bunch of niggers there who were caroling and they had such wonderful voices, reminded me of being a kid again.

Well, at least it wasn't a total loss.

True!  Say, nigger, have you ever heard of wassel?

Yes, nigger, I love it!!!  It's basically just apple cider but the added oranges make to so festive!

Well, yes, I had never had it.  Some of the other niggers there wanted to go a-wasseling but the party was in kind of a scary neighborhood.  Near the ghetto.



Ok, so now you can try that.  Then we can create a better set of words with which to describe pigmentation and such.

Plus, guess what?  Here's all you want to know about wassel:

Feast in the knowledge.  Eat its very marrow.