master beta

This is what my girl Fergie Ferg and me have in common.

Both of us are Fergalicious. I was born with that as my Xian name and she wanted to borrow it and I said, let nothing stand between you, Fergie and me, the Blog Ho. Take it. Sing on it. Make a fortune from just those same six syllables.

Second thing in common, I ain't promiscuous. For me it's opportunity. For queen Fergie Ferg it's on account of a sterling virtue.

Third thing: "I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh) That puts them boys on rock, rock." We both do this. I like to think I do it better. She disagrees. We still get along, though, we respect each others' opinions. She also loves plural possessives. She's complex. I'm simple and i misuse them.

We also differ, she and me. We aren't self-same clones or copies like most people assume.

For one, she has a vagina. I do not. Well, not an organic one, anyway. I have some copies, sure. Don't begrudge or judge me for that.

Plus her vagina is sweaty from too much time in the gym. Mine aren't. Ship shape. Ready to sail at the drop of a hat as I like to think on them. In this unnumbered way we are different as well, but keep this secret from her or she'll be so mad I said it.

For two, I'm not an ex-crack addict. I don't say that to denigrate FF but I'm just saying I never jacked the meth with a rig into my skin. Nor have I ever kicked a habit--they are to be nurtured and kept under strict wraps so they don't get you fired--but still to be enjoyed (don't misunderstand me)--not kicked like a dog. So she's a bit of a quitter in this regard. I'm not.

Another difference is that I was never officially on Kids Incoroperated. Not that it wasn't a wonderful movie that I would have killed or died to be on. It just wasn't in my particular deck of cards.

Great theme song, though.