you simply cannot overcook love

Sometimes I think of anus surgery when I eat turkey sandwiches. Especially when there's Miracle Whip on the sandwich (which you know I HATE SO MUCH (yet you continue to use it in lieu of the much preferred sandwich spread)).

It makes the eating experience five percent less enjoyable because it's the carve out surgery which is when they carve out your anus like a pumpkin and replace it with wax. It's a bad kind which doesn't get a lot of press.

Makes me think of death, I guess.

Furthermore, I hope I get buried in a brand new cemetery. A fresh cemetary. A clean cemetary. I don't want to be around all those fucking old people. Old, dead, sick people, no thanks.

Do you suppose that when I rise as a zombie I want to go out a-braining with a bunch of co-zombies pushing around those things that old people push around so they don't fall on the ground?

I, good sir (the innernet), do not.