Guess who has had way too much coffee.

I have been away mapping the wild coasts of Southern California. I shall provide the maps when I finish them and not a moment sooner so stop bugging me about the maps, already.

Anyway.

It was a charming trip and I see why so many fuckers live in California.

I sure do wish they'd move.

But they won't.

The thing that perplexed me and I rarely am perplexed because I live in the moment and someone offers me a toke on a weed stick? I take it. Every time. Weed stick? Why yes, please.

Anyway.

California? You sure was a nice blast of sunshine and relief from this long summer but what was it with all the poop on the stools of the public bathrooms?

When I first saw it I thought to myself, "My God! Poop covers that from stem to stern. Seek another haven."

Then guess what?

It was hard to find a resting place not besoiled and I said to myself, "Is this some kind of X-Game, California? Some kind of perverse stool soiling X-Game defined perhaps in the number of stools you could soil per day? Or is it a style of covering such that you get awarded extra points for covering the entire lid?"

Take your time, California, in answering me.

Use the Schwarzenegger or the Schwartzkopf channel (as per usual).

And tell me if you ever become affordable.

I'm innerested.