Sunday, April 17, 2005

Cow love

I have 2 small admissions. One: I have never unloaded ejaculate onto someone's face. Well, once on my own but that was because of the force of my ejaculation powers. STRONGEST EJACULATOR IN THE WORLD.

I once suggested that we try that move with my wife once and she suggested, "why don't you go fuck yourself."

She accented the word yourself. I was going to enquire what the hell she meant by that, but I know which battles to fight and when to back off.

Two: I always thought cows were stupid. I used to drive by cows...of which there are plenty in the midwest and say, "I'll eat you next, cunt."

Recently I saw something on television to convince me otherwise. Cows ...apparently... shoot gallons of semen through their many pronged penis. Gallons and gallons. Kilos to you outsiders. Kilos and kilos. Kilogallon I think is the correct term.

Bonus idea two? They go through this giant cock pull every day. Some farmers have machines that suck the semen out. Gallons and gallons.

Finally...I saw a picture this morning where a cat was begging for a squirt of semen...right into her mouth. I assume it was a her, anyway. Begging for a spray!

Oh, those Hindus...bonus admission number 3: I always thought all those Hindus were pretty stupid. And they are, but stick with me here for a minute...they were right about cows. Go figure.

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